Making up for lost time

Another blog I stumbled onto commented about ending its “summer of drought.” The blogger, a professional writer and movie critic, hadn’t posted anything in weeks.

Sure made me feel better. Here she was getting paid to do this, and struggling to keep it real and regular. I’m just some loser in the middle of the country lucky to get ten readers at a time, I should try harder? 😉

Seriously–I did have an entry ready to go three weeks ago. It was evocative. It was provoking. It was esoteric and loopy and deep. And with one click of a wrong button it was flushed into atoms, something I didn’t discover until getting back four hours later from keeping an appointment, and I couldn’t remember a word of it. Not a single word.

It was crushing, I tell you. My delicate, sensitive ego could not take the blow… okay, enough of such crap; I laughed my ass off. Even looked at the sky and said “Well, God, guess you wanted to keep that one all to Yourself, huh?” and laughed some more. Then moved on with life.

So now you have to settle for this hopefully entertaining alternative. Ladies and gentlemen, The Three A.M. Blog World Premiere of the 2012 Butterfield Fishing Show. right here.

If I can find the time, I’ll put up the 2004-2005 Show for you, too.

I’ll write more later–really, I will–but for now, 45 minutes of the most fascinating “fishing” footage known to humanity will have to do. Enjoy.

(NOTE: I’ve noticed playing this back that it isn’t playing the playlist in the proper order. If it does that to you too, click here to get to the playlist in its proper order.)

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Summertime, and the blogging is lazy

Not at 3 a.m., when I was finally sound asleep, but at 4 a.m. when I remembered today I have to go back to work, did I realize–I haven’t written a lick on this blog  in three weeks.  Three weeks!  Why not?

Well…

* I’ve got a family, and every once in awhile, things happen to it.  Rule #1 of blogging: Don’t blog about the stuff that happens to family!  Exceptions may be made for Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and funerals, but even then don’t get specific and stick to the good stuff.  What happened this past month, was not good stuff.  No one is dead, but one is set back and the other is a little more humble now.  And that is quite enough said about that.

* It got hot.  Really hot.  Save for a few un-July like days at the start, it’s been hot.  Hard to write when it’s hot.  One tends to focus on staying  not hot, which tends to distract the mind from self-expression other than to say “it’s hot.”  Lame?  You betcha.  I blame air conditioning.  It screws with your head.  Your body feels cool, your head knows it’s hot, the conundrum is too much for it to deal with and your writing goes straight south.  As in Deep South.  Where it’s really hot.  Perhaps this is why Faulkner never traveled.  He knew that Yankee AC would make his mind a mess and he’d start writing about nothing but the heat screwing up his head.  Kind of like I am right now.

* I’ve been working on a multi-media project.  Last year, for the first time in many a moon, I went fishing with my dad and two oldest brothers.  Years ago we’d go to Canada.  Then our great and brave country started requiring passports to get back in and the exchange rate stopped favoring the American dollar, so after trial and error they found a nice place in northern Minnesota instead.  I brought a digital camera that, like almost all made today, could take digital movies as well.  Took a good 90 minutes of “footage” and through trial and error and the rite of passage that Windows Live Movie Maker is–that’s no endorsement, friends, I’m here to tell you it sucks eggs–raw frozen eggs coated lovingly in castor oil–coughed out a 40-minute documentary called “The 2012 Butterfield Fishing Show.”  Maybe I’ll post it here.  Maybe I won’t tempt my father and brothers to drive off in the middle of the night and make me walk home from Minnesota.  I don’t know.  If this brain blockage from the heat caused by air conditioning persists, I may have to just so WordPress won’t reclaim the bandwidth I’ve stolen from them these past three years.

* I’ve also got spend a lot of time with this little guy.  He’s very distracting indeed.  Photo credit to his mommy and daddy:

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That’s pretty much it.  Not like I couldn’t have written anything, I just didn’t because it’s hot and other things have grabbed my attention.  Later this week I’ll try to get another writing tip up in Sheer Arrogance.  Until then, do as I say, not as I do, and write something worth reading, eh?

Gone fishin’

Last blog entry for a couple of weeks, folks–Friday I hop a plane to Indiana, then Saturday I ride up with my father and brothers to Minnesota for a week of trying to catch dinner.  We’re hauling up a bunch of other food just in case, and a deck of cards, and beer.  So we’ll get by.  We Hoosiers always do.  A Hoosier will survive.  Remember that.

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Save for our anniversary that you read about last weekend, it’s been a fairly straightforward and simple time.  Grandma-to-be is embroidering furiously, making sure lil’ B-Wob will be as surrounded as possible by soft blankets and bibs with all kinds of cute animals on them.  If the young man grows to be a zookeeper or at least a docent it’ll be no surprise.  That’s not bad work if you can get it, or stand it.  I say stand it because animals eject solid and liquid filth just like everyone else, only they’re far less discreet about it; something zookeepers and docents deal with on a daily basis with animals of all shapes and sizes who eject accordingly.  It’s not exactly a high society job.  But, if one wants to promote conservation and preservation of all species, it’s essential.  One must sacrifice for the greater good.  If it means not getting to kiss your spouse at the end of the day until you spend forty minutes disinfecting and deodorizing yourself, so be it.

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Have you read my latest book yet?  If you’ve got a Kindle you can download the opening chapters for free, you know.  If you just bought a Kindle, you can download the whole thing for free with your trial membership to Kindle Prime (kind of works like a library).  If you’re patient I might even set up a few hours one day where you can download it for free period, but… I’m really not charging that much for it… seriously, you pay more for a Mickey D’s value meal than what I’m charging for the Kindle version of this thing,  and you pay that over and over and OVER AGAIN; all you gotta do is pay one time for my book and it’s yours forever.  Pretty good investment, I’d say.  Go for it.  You know you want to.

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Seeing I’m begging people to buy my book on Kindle these days, I figured I’d spend some of its royalties in advance on one and see for myself how they work.  They’re COOL, folks.  And you don’t have to pay for every single book you load into it, either.  Did you know, beyond the Kindle Prime deal I’ve already mentioned, that you can download literally hundreds of books from Amazon to your Kindle for free?  Including most of the classics you had to pay $25.00-plus per textbook for in college?  Including practically any version you want of the Bible (and probably the texts of several other faiths; I haven’t looked)?  Including a ton of Charles Dickens and even P.G. Wodehouse?  Virtually anything out of copyright?   When considering how much publishers charge you for tree-killing versions of the same stuff, in as little as ten minutes you can download enough classics to pay for your Kindle three to four times over.  And you’ve still got space for the other stuff you actually want to pay for.  And Amazon keeps it all stored on the cloud for you so if you break your Kindle you don’t lose any of it.  It’s a steal, man!  And compared to an iPad or iPhone or iAnything a Kindle is much easier on the eyes.  It’s worth the money.  (No, they’re not paying me to say it.)

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All for now.  See you in a couple of weeks!